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Don't Look Here, Please
Don't . Chapter 1 Chris Mclean stands in front of a very beaten up old warehouse, amidst a bustling downtown street. Cars zoom past him, pedestrians bump into him as they rush this way and that, and Chef is seen leaning against the side of the warehouse, smoking. “Chef,” Chris calls behind him, “I told you smoking’s bad for your health. And it’s setting a bad example for our viewers.” Chef shrugs, and mumbles something about all viewers being idiots, anyways. “Ya, well, when half the people watching this show are like five years old, it doesn’t look very good on me. I mean, they don’t get what’s going on, but the bright colours and movement keeps them entertained.” Chris responds, talking to himself. He eventually seems to notice the camera’s fixation on him, and shakes his head as if to clear his thoughts. He then says, rather abruptly, “Let’s meet our contestants for this season of Total Drama. As you may already know, they were all rejected from being on the original cast of TDI.” A rugged looking jeep pulls up in front of the warehouse, spewing a putrid smelling gas out of its tailpipe and making odd honking noises. Some of the pedestrians cough loudly, and give Chris dirty glances. Chris just shrugs them off. “I feel like this season doesn’t need much explanation,” he says non-chalantly, “I guess all you really need to know is that everyone participating is a bunch of nubs. Like serious nubs. Like so noob-like I’m glad I don’t know these people in real life.” He pauses for a moment, staring at the vehicle with a lethargic expression. It’s clear to everyone watching that he’s been through this process too many times before, and simply wants to get paid. He quickly adds, as if remembering something, “Oh, and the winner gets a hundred thousand dollars.” At that, a short heavy-set boy steps out of the jeep, dragging a bunch of luggage behind him. When he steps onto the sidewalk, apart from the door of the vehicle breaking off its hinges and landing on some random guy, he pushes his glasses farther up his nose and lets out a small wheeze. “This, everyone, is Dilbert.” Chris forces a smile onto his face, but the boy doesn’t seem to notice the amount of effort it takes for him to do so. “Nice to meet you, Chris,” Dilbert says in a nasally voice, “I’m sho glad to be here.” Chris just points over to where Chef still leans against the wall, playing with his iPhone. The boy waddles over to where Chris points, and imitates Chef, who ignores him. “Jeez, I hope that was the worst of them,” Chris mutters under his breath, clearly knowing that his hope is a false one. The next contestant is very thin girl with long black hair, who has no luggage with her apart from a clearly home-made bow and arrows set, a small orange backpack, and a golden pin on her coat. “And who might you be?” Chris asks her. She flips her dark hair around her head like a helicopter, drawing an arrow and loading her bow at Chris, shouting, “I’m Katniss Everdeen! Bask in my undefeated glory!” Chris just shrugs and nods in the direction of where Dilbert is standing with Chef. Katniss gives him a curt nod and does a barrel roll over to the wall, holding her bow in tight to her body as she does so. The next contestant steps out of the same jeep only moments after Katniss has disappeared from Chris’s sight. He is a tallish boy with curly hair and a neat vest on, holding a briefcase of sorts underneath his left arm. He walks with almost perfect posture, and holds his arms a little too stiffly at his sides. “Nice to meet you, Joseph,” Chris says glumly. “Chris,” Joseph says with a slight Indian-accent, nodding at Chris and walking over to join the others without another word. Chris follows him with his gaze as he leaves his view, shocked at his non-nubness. “That was... oddly normal,” Chris says to himself quietly as an attractive looking girl with blond hair and barely any clothes on steps out of the bus. Rather than say hello, Chris just stares at the beautiful girl. But not in a attracted way, in a I-haven’t-discovered-why-you’ve-been-labeled-a-newb-and-have-been-put-oh-this-show kind of way. “Oh, I love this place already,” the girl says happily, glancing up at the dirty, crummy looking warehouse, “I can’t wait to take some @rt$y photos! You know, I’m a photographer,” she says now, looking straight at Chris, “and I’m going to be a model when I grow up. But I’ll take my own pictures, of course. Oh, that reminds me, can you help me take some @rt$y photos? I’m really @rt$y.” Chris, in reply, says, “Oh. I see.” The girl gives him a funny expression. “You see what? I see Chris. But I see you in an ‘@rt$y’ way, not a boring ‘Chris’ way. Yuck. You could use some @rt$!n3$$ in your life. Here’s my card,” the girls hands him a business card with the word “@rt$y” on the front, spelt just like that, and the name Natasha P. on the back. She then walks awkwardly over to the others. Still leaning against the wall, Dilbert stares at Natasha. She catches him doing so, and hands him one of her business cards. “Why do you do that?” Dilbert asks her, in his nasally voice. “Do what?” “Spell artsy ‘@rt$y’?” “Because that’s the @rt$y way to spell @rt$y.” Natasha responds, and Dilbert doesn’t know what to say, so he just stands there looking at some man walking by pick his nose. Chris turns his attention back to the next arrival, a very, very, very tall boy who has trouble getting out of the jeep because his head keeps hitting the top of the doorway. Eventually, he has to back up and then get down onto his hands and knees to finally get out of the vehicle. “Sheesh. You think they could make car doors bigger?” “I don’t know, Ryan. It doesn’t concern me.” Ryan rubs his head, which is covered by a mass of red hair, and sighs. Chris points him in the direction of the others, and he walks over to them. “Katniss is here!” Katniss cries out, pulling her bow in front of Ryan’s face, and he flinches. “Give it a rest, hunter girl.” Joseph says in his accent, sounding suddenly frustrated, which is much different than his normally calm demeanor. This shocks Katniss into silence, at least for a little while. Next, a short stocky girl with blond hair pulled back in pigtails steps out of the jeep, carrying her luggage in a pink Hello Kitty backpack. “O. M. G. I’m really on Total Drama!” The girl squeals as she runs forwards and gives Chris a great bear hug, as he chokes for breath. “Calm. Down. Brianne.” Chris manages to choke out, and the girl releases him from her death grip. “Wow! Real contestants!” Brianne cries, running over to the other teens to shake their hands rapidly. Most of them at first try to break away from her, put she has this weird aura that almost freezes you in place until it’s over. Chris knows this from firsthand experience now. As Chris shudders, a boy with a dark hair, a nose piercing, and tattoos all over his neck and arms steps out of the jeep. His eyes slightly shift back and forth, perceiving his new surroundings and fellow competitors. He reaches into his pocket, and keeps his hand there, holding onto something and walking forward to meet Chris. “Hey, Chris, man,” he says, his eyes still shifting back and forth. “Relax, Julian, no one’s going to arrest you here. You’re safe- you’re contract prevents you from getting thrown back into juvie... but it also prevents you from doing anything that would cause you to be put into juvie.” Julian nods, and slowly walks over to join the others. When he leans against the wall, he actually looks cool doing it, unlike Dilbert who looks so awkward anyone in a five-foot radius just wants to puke their brains out to rid themselves of his awkwardness, it’s that bad. Joseph quietly whispers to the others, “How is he... one of us?” Chris walks over to them, whispering in Joseph’s ear and causing him to jump. “You don’t know what he was arrested for.” The others look at Chris quizzically, and then back at Julian, who doesn’t seem to have heard them. When Chris arrives back at the jeep, he looks around for a couple of seconds until he realizes there is a girl face down on the ground in front of him. He rushes forward and helps her up, and she thanks him with a shaky voice, fixing her hair. “Thanks,” she says. “No problem,” Chris replies, “And you would be?” “Jill,” Jill replies. “Ah, I see. You’re the one who’s broken fifty-seven different bones?” Chris says matter-of-factly. Jill nods and walks over to the others quietly, watching where she steps. Julian gives her a look, and she does a sort of weird flinch thing, tripping over what is seemingly air and falls flat on her back. “Poor girl,” Chris says, looking back at her getting up off the ground, “Luck is just not with that one.” At this point in time, Chef walks up to Chris and whispers something in his ear. Chris looks confused for a second, and then nods, as if realizing something. Chef walks briskly into the jeep. Chris turns to the cameras. “Sorry folks,” he says, “But our next contestant may not want to come out of the jeep by himself.” A bunch of banging, shouting, and swearing is heard from inside the jeep just then, and it seems to literally shake back and forth. Eventually, Chef, with his clothes torn and his face scratched, drags a small boy out of the jeep and tosses him to Chris. Chris catches the child with ease, and puts him on the ground. Chef walks back to where he leaned before, swearing under his breath. “Hello there, Andy,” Chris says to the boy, who barely reaches his waist. “Um... hello,” Andy replies in a shaky voice, “Sorry about that. I just really don’t like jeeps. Or downtown streets. Or reality shows. Or crazy-looking Chef dudes that look like they’re gonna kill me-“ “Alright, that’s enough,” Chris cuts Andy off and pushes him towards the others, “Go have fun with your new friends.” Andy stares at the other silently, and tiptoes over to lean against the wall with them. Natasha holds out her hand to shake his, but he just stares at it and then looks away quickly. Natasha turns to Joseph and asks him, “What’s his problem? I guess I’m just too @rt$y for him, I-“ “SHUT UP!” Joseph shouts, causing Natasha’s mouth to snap shut and Andy to give a little scream. “Well... I... I...” Natasha tries to say, but ends up just stuttering for words. She determines in her own mine that in fact, Joseph is the one who she is too @rt$y for. The camera’s focus turns back to Chris, still standing at the jeep, now looking very bored. A tall, very thin girl with a mess of brown hair steps out of the jeep. On her shirt is a picture of a cat emoticon face, or “:3” and she has on a ton of pink eyeliner, which in no way makes her look any more attractive than she already does. “Well, hello there, Chloe. Welcome to the show,” Chris says. Chloe nods. “Thanks Chris. Um, so, like, where should I put my bags? Like, just, um, like, anywhere?” Chloe asks Chris, fiddling her hands. “Uh, anywhere, I guess...” Chris begins, and then says, “Wait, no. Go over there with the others.” Chloe nods awkwardly and runs off to the others. She nearly trips over a dent in the sidewalk and does an odd hop onto her left foot, teetering over Andy. He lets out a yelp and jumps backwards, pushing into Julian. Julian raises his fist to smack Andy, but he elbows Jill in the nose instead. “Oh, sorry man, are you okay?” Julian asks Jill, who is clutching her nose, which is now bleeding. “I’m fine. Stuff like this happens all the time. Thanks for asking,” Jill replies, and Chef takes her away to get medical attention. Chloe awkwardly looks at the ground, embarrassed. “Sorry Jill,” she mutters under her breath, way too quiet for anyone to hear. Chris watches the contestants who have arrived so far from his spot, shaking his head. He turns to the cameras, smiling a tragic smile, and says, “What a bunch of total, complete, utter NOOBS.” Dilbert calls back to Chris, having heard him, “Well, at leasht we’re not ash noob ash you!” Chris, in reply, facepalms. As he does this, a boy with a gaming device in his hand steps out of the jeep. He nearly walks into Chris, being completely consumed in his efforts to, “kill that @#$% @#$%# who’s trying to @#%^$@# his $%#$ up.” “DIE! DIE! FFFFUUUUU,” the boy shouts at the screen, oblivious to Chris staring at him. Eventaully, Chris says to him, “Eugene, calm down. The people in your game can’t hear you.” Eugene gives him a rude look. “That’s nice, Chris,” he remarks. Chris holds his hands back, showing he does not want to “go”. Gene joins the others, still concentrating on his game. Brianne skips over to Eugene, her blond hair bobbing up and down. “So, watcha playing?” Brianne asks him. “Go away.” Eugene replies flatly. “But I want to know what you’re playing. “Go away.” “What are you playing?” “Go. Away.” “But what are you-" “GET OUT OF MY FACE YOU NOSY LITTLE BRAT.” Eugene screams at the top of his lungs, still staring at the screen of his console. Brianne stares at him for a second in shock, and then runs away. Joseph shakes his head back and forth, but Eugene doesn’t notice. Shortly after, a tall, pretty, semi-attractive looking girl steps out of the jeep wearing a gold and red cheerleading uniform. “Hey, Chris,” she says in a bubbly voice, “OMG! This place is sooo cool. I, like, cannot wait to get this competition started! I’ve watched SO much reality shows to prepare for this. I mean, I CANNOT lose. You know what I mean?” “No. I don’t go away.” Chris says flatly, adding, “What’s your name again?” “Um, okay, that’s weird that you don’t know my name because you’re, like, the host, but whatever. My name’s Hayden,” he girl says, flipping her ponytail and happily bouncing over to join the others. Julian stares at her for a little longer than an average look-over, but no one seems to notice and he looks away quickly, catching himself in the act. A tall, muscled boy with very short hair and an air of competition about him steps out of the jeep, glancing around at his competition. He gives Chris a nod, and walks over to the others, completely ignoring Chris’s attempts at conversation. He sees Hayden, brings her closer to his face by grabbing her waist and pulling, and says, “Hey there, sweet stuff. You wanna have a good time, or what?” Hayden instantly bursts into a fit of giggles, but Chris runs over and pulls the two apart. “Okay, okay, everybody calm down. Let’s keep it PG here, or at least PG-13. Got it, Mikey?” Mikey winks at Hayden, ignoring Chris, and says seductively, “PG-13: Adult situations. I can work with that.” This causes the cheerleader to burst into yet another fit of giggles. Joseph and Julian both roll their eyes, simultaneously. Ryan, meanwhile, sits there awkwardly against the wall. Jill comes back out from behind the camera, with a big tissue box in her hand, and her nose stuffed with the stuff. She sits beside Ryan, who is clearly uncomfortable being so near a girl, yet Jill think nothing of it. “Sheesh. Nosebleeds. Don’t you hate ‘em?” Ryan nods, laughing quietly. The two then just sit there in silence, watching Katniss attempt to climb the fire escape ladder on a nearby building, and then quickly pull a sleeping bag out of her pack and begin to snooze in it. Chris smiles as a girl of average height steps out of the jeep, and he makes a checkmark on a piece of paper. “Thank goodness,” he says happily, “You’re the last one to arrive.” “Yes, I am, Chris,” the girl responds, “Thanks for being so eager to do your job.” “Hey, everyone knows I’m in this business for two things: the money and the fame. The money feeds my bills, and the fame feeds my ego. It’s a win-win situation.” Chris responds, speaking matter-of-factly. The girl walks away from him, bored and frustrated. Chris calls back to her, “Oh, calm yourself, Tanina.” Tanina lets out a huff of air as she sits down against the wall beside Andy, who looks at her fearfully. She seems to calm down quickly though, and takes out her phone to start texting. After a couple of seconds, Andy interrupts her. “So, what makes you a noob?” He asks her, and she looks up at him. “What?” “I said, ‘What makes you a noob’?” Andy repeats. Tanina look past him to see Hayden and Mikey flirting, past them to Ryan awkwardly towering over Chloe, who awkwardly tries to show her pink “:3” shirt to Dilbert, who doesn’t seem to care, and then past all of them to Katniss sleeping on the ladder. “I don’t know. I feel normal. I don’t feel like a noob.” Tanina replies, and goes back to her texting. Andy takes the hint, and turns away. Chris happily pulls out a clipboard from his back pocket and flips through its pages quickly. His epression turns to a sour one as he realizes there are still two contestants who haven’t arrived yet. “Great,” he mutters, “this day just couldn’t get any longer.” Just as he says this, a kind-looking girl with a bright smile steps out of the jeep. She has barely any luggage, and holds a metal water container with a recycle symbol on it. “May I help you?” Chris asks her. “Um, yes. I’m Sahara, the resident eco-activist of the show?” Sahara tells him, glancing oddly at the cameras behind Chris. Chris notices this, and looks at her. “Is there something wrong, girl?” “Yes, there is,” Sahara responds, speaking in a formal voice, “I believe you have an excessive amount of cameras. You could easily get by with one, two tops. I mean, you must be sucking a ton of energy! Why don’t you think of the environment for once?” Chris literally slaps himself on the cheek, and then motions rudely for Sahara to leave him alone. She glares at him for only a second before stalking off towards the others. Tanina gives her a smile, but Sahara ignores it and the girl rolls her eyes. “She seems like a charm,” Tanina whispers to herself. Finally, the last arrival steps out of the jeep and it almost immediately speeds off, causing dirt to take to the air. A thin boy steps out of the cloud of dust, coughing into his arm. When he stops, he just stares at Chris. After couple moments of awkward silence, Chris asks him, “Well, are you Peter?” The boy stares at him. Chris clears his throat, and repeats, “Are you Peter?” The boy stares at him. Chris rolls his eyes and checkmarks something on his clipboard, and then returns it to his pocket. “Not much of a talker, are you, Peter?” The boy continues to stare at him, to the point of Chris looking away for the sake of his sanity. After a couple of mintues, and after he has made sure that Peter has joined the others, Chris claps his hands together to get everyone’s attention. “Listen up, guys,” he says, “It’s time to head inside. Trust me; our warehouse isn’t much to look at. Well, not most of it, anyways... but you’ll find that out soon enough. Straight through the front door, you’ll be in a main lobby, go down the right corridor to find two rooms across from each other; they’ll be your places of residence for the time being. Boys in one room, girls on the other. No exceptions,” he adds, glancing over at Hayden and Mikey, who is flexing his muscles for her to feel, “Now get going. And I’ll see you here in front of the warehouse for your first challenge first thing in the morning!” The contestants sigh and pack up their things, and then walk into the damp, cold warehouse and walk down the hall to their rooms. They choose beds, unpack, use the washroom (which there is only one of attached to each living quarters) and they all eventually fall asleep. This is what would happen on any other T.V. show. But this is Total Drama, and a Total Drama full of contestants who weren’t even meant to be on the show at that, and something as stated above is but a pleasant dream. Mikey immediately walked up to Chris, threatening to punch him in the face if he couldn’t hang out with Hayden any longer, but Chris ducked and he accidently whipped around and punched Jill in the back of the head. While Chef took her away to seek medical care again, Katniss jumped down from her perch on the ladder and began to strangle Dilbert on the sidewalk, shouting, “I’M COMING, PRIM!” Once Ryan and Joseph, trying to help, managed to get Katniss off of a wheezing Dilbert, Andy couldn’t take the chaos any longer, and took off into the warehouse, crying for his mommy. Brianne began to bombard Chloe with questions about her “:3” shirt, and the two of them were having such a wonderful time they didn’t even notice that Chris had told them to go inside, so they wandered off down the street. Julian finally lost it on Eugene for continuously shouting at his video game, and took the device and threw it threw a window of the warehouse. While Sahara remarked on what a waste of resources that action was, Eugene immediately took off inside, calling, “My baby!” And all the while, Tanina and Peter just sat there, listening to Natasha chatter in their ears about all things “@rt$y”. Then, once all the commotion settled (although it didn’t really, it was just subdued) and all the contestants had been rounded up and sent to their quarters for the night, they all eventually fell asleep in their beds, with the exception of Katniss, who slept in the bathtub in her sleeping bag. The cameras cut to Chris, standing on the dusty roof of the warehouse, shouting at the cameras. “Well, it has been an exciting first episode. We meet all our contestants, and we... well, that was pretty much it. But you have to admit it that it was pretty entertaining. In any case,” he pauses, “We hope that you join us next week, when teams will be formed and our first contestant will be sent home! All that and more will be in store on Total... Drama... The Rejected!” Chapter 2: Dirty Little Secrets Chris McLean greets the cameras from his room, sitting on his posh bed, and resting on it with his legs over the side. He lazily looks at the camera, and it's clear that he has just woken up. He hasn't even done his hair yet. What a shocker. Chris yawns and begins, "Welcome back to Total Drama: The Rejected. Last episode, we met our sixteen competitors, and the festivities began. By festivities, I mean the drama," at this point, a mischevious smile plays on his lips, "and we hope they continue throughout this day. Find out what's in store this episode, and take a seat," he yawns yet again, pausing, "we're going to be here a while." Peter is seen in the confessional, which is a small broom closet. He stares at the camera, not speaking. He sniffles, once, twice, and then the camera just shuts off. Natasha is now seen in the confessional. "Wow, a broom closet? So @rt$y! I love it, like, it's actually so cool, I-" Natasha stops talking as a broom sitting against the wall falls over and hits her in the head. Now, the boys are shown in their room, which is basically a bunch of beds and a bathroom off to the side. Mikey has his shirt off, and is working out on the floor. Joseph approaches him. "So... whatcha doin'?" Joseph asks Mikey, as he reaches his fiftieth push-up in a row. "Oh, just working out. Keeping my body fit. For football, and hockey, you know?" Mikey responds, and then adds, "What's it to you?" "I was just wondering." Joseph walks over to where he dropped his luggage before, and takes out a small case. He opens it, and retrieves a shiny golden trumpet from inside. He then proceeds to play, right beside Mikey's ear, as loud as he can. In fact, he's not that bad. He could even pass for excellent, but Mikey and music don't mix. He stops working out, stands up to his full height, and says in a powerful voice: "Cut. That. Out." "Make me," Joseph responds. Mikey grabs his trumpet and throws it out the window. Joseph lets out a yelp and runs out the door. Eugene shakes his head, having seen the whole scene play out while yet again attempting to slaughter bad guys on his video game console. Mikey shoots him a dirty look, and he stops. But not right away. Under his breath, Eugene mutters, "You may be tough, but you aren't very smart, Mikey. You'll soon realize that brain is better than brawn in this game." Meanwhile, Chloe and Brianne seem to be getting along very well in the girls' room. At the moment, the are showing each other their clothes. "Oh, I love your Hello Kitty blouse!" Chloe excliams, petting Brianne's pink blouse. "How many of these ":3" shirts do you have, Chloe? I love them!" Brianne replies, looking through Chloe's shirts, all of which seem to have ":3" in some form on them. "I love cats. I just can't help it! They're so lovable." Chloe says happily. Tanina, sitting on her bed, looks over at Jill, who is reading against the wall. "If those two say 'love' one more time, I think I'm going to puke," Tanina says in a monotone voice. Jill smiles, but keeps on reading. "Tell me about it." Suddenly, Chris's voice blares out for all to hear, apparently on some unseen intercom. "Get all your butts in front of the warehouse, now! It's time for your first challenge!" Most of the contestants sigh, and drop their things to head out the door, into the hallway, and then out the front door. Mikey finds Hayden walking alone, still in her cheerleading uniform, and approaches her. "Hey, Hayden. I see you're wearing your uniform still... does that mean you're the captain of the squad or something?" "Oh, no," Hayden replies, smiling, "I'm even more important. I'm the captain, and the manager." Mikey lets out some kind of impressed noise, and Hayden blushes. Julian, walking behind them quietly, sighs to himself. Julian leans against the wall of the confessional. "You know, I feel bad for Hayden. She doesn't know what she's getting into with that Mikey guy. Whatever though, I mean, it doesn't concern me," he says, looking as though in reality it really does. Chris waits in front of the warehouse front doors for all the contestants to arrive. Once they do, he begins to speak of the first challenge. "Now, today we are going to-" Chris begins, but then Ryan calls out, cutting him off. "Wait, where's Katniss?" Ryan asks, and everyone looks around, now noticing Katniss hadn't been there the entire morning. "In fact," Natasha adds, "I don't remember her being in our room when we woke up." A second later, the girl in question shows up, walking down the street until she's in front of the warehouse with the others. "There you are," Chris exclaims, "Where did you go? You know you can't leave the grounds! The producers could shut us down, knowing you could have been in danger!" Katniss shushes him. "Oh, calm down, I just got up early. Hunted down some breakfast. Went for a long walk, and here I am." "Wait, you actually killed an animal for food?" Sahara cries, horrified at the thought. Andy gives a little jolt, terrified not of the idea of killing an animal, but of Sahara's loud cry. Katniss waves their fear off with her hand. "It's no biggie. Just a seagull." She then proceeds to take what looks like a chicken leg out of her pocket, and chomp down on it. Hayden nearly barfs all over the sidewalk, and Andy now looks quesy. Sahara goes completely white. "You ate... A SEAGULL?" Sahara nearly shouts. Katniss smiles slightly at the expressions on everyone's faces. "Don't worry about it; he was old. Had a good life." Chris calls everyone to attention. "Alright, that's enough. No more funny business, Katniss," he says angrily, eyeing the girl, who is still smirking, "It's time for your first challenge. But before you begin, I have to sort you into teams." He pauses for a minute, rubbing his chin, as if actually deciding the teams on the spot. The contestants glance around nervously at each other until Chris speaks again. "Alright," he says loudly and clearly, so all can hear him, "the two team names will be the Sniffling Gophers and the Whining Bass, as a reference to the first season of Total Drama which you all failed so gracelessly to be a part of. Let's see here... The Sniffling Gophers will consist of Joseph, Ryan, Andy, Eugene, Brianne, Jill, Chloe, and Tanina. The Whining Bass, therefore, will consist of Hayden, Mikey, Katniss, Julian, Sahara, Dilbert, Natasha, and Peter. Kapeesh?" Everyone nods, some looking happier than others. Mikey winks at Hayden, and she blushes. Chloe and Brianne grab each other and squeel happily, causing Tanina to facepalm. But no matter how the contestants react, the teams are set. Chris establishes this getting the two teams to group together, facing each other, and hands them banners, which look basically like modified versions of the ones from Total Drama Island. "Wow! I'm a Bash! I never thought shat would happen!" Dilbert exclaims happily. "Sure, whatever," Chris says boredly in Dilbert's direction, and then adds, "Okay, now on to your challenge. Although we didn't address it yesterday, all of you guys's auditions for Total Drama were originally rejected. Why, you may ask? Well, that's what today's challenge is for: unmasking your dirty little secrets." Julian gulps. Tanina looks at Chris boredly. "Ya, well what if we were just denied because the producers are total idiots, and we don't actually have anything to hide?" Tanina remarks, causing Chris to frown. "Just shut up and get in the machine." Chris responds. The "machine" turns out to be what resembles a lie detector. This is revealed after Chris pulls it out from the garage beside the warehouse. Chris gets the two teams to line up on either side of it, and calls Chef forward to demonstrate. As Chris straps an uncomfortable Chef into the seat with handcups, and then attaches odd looking suction cups to his head, he explains how the challenge will work to the contestants. "Everyone will take a turn being strapped up to the lie detector. When it's your turn, the rest of your team will try to guess one of the possibly many reasons you were denied being on the show the first time around. If they get it within the sixty-second time limit, your team scores a point. The team with the most points wins," Chris pauses, and then adds, "Oh, I almost forgot. This isn't a lie detector. It's a thought reading machine, and a lie detector. You see, it will display on this small screen any thoughts you have that aren't actually the reason you were denied, but simply hints to it. So, if you really want to reveal your secret to the rest of us here, and to the entire viewer population, now's your chance. Let's begin." Tanina, as Chris stated earlier, is the first strapped up. She fiddles uncomfortably underneath the handcuffs. "Are these really necessary?" Tanina calls out to Chris. "Yes. Now get thinking," Chris responds, and pulls a switch on the side of the machine, starting the screen up and starting a sixty-second timer. Nothing appears on the screen. The rest of the Gophers stare at Tanina, waiting for her to help. She just sits there, looking bored. "Sorry guys," she tells them, "But I honestly don't know why the producers denied me. I'm probably just too awesome for them." Suddenly, a picture of Tanina smiling happily appears on the screen. A couple of her teammates shout out a few guesses, but none are of value and the timer rings out. Tanina returns to her team's line. "I believe you when you say that there's nothing wrong with you," Ryan tells her as she stands beside him, "I mean, you're like the most normal person here, besides me." Tanina smiles back at him, "Aww, you're sweet to say that." Jill watches them from afar, but looks away as Chris attaches the next contestant to the machine. Katniss's teammates have no trouble figuring out that she was denied because she's a total lunatic: they didn't even need a picture on the screen for that. When Chloe takes the stage, a picture of a cat appears, and it turns out she was denied for being obsessed with cats. No one finds this to be a big surprise. When Natasha takes to the machine, the word @rt$y appears on the screen, and Hayden guesses correctly that her audition was ignored simply because all she talks about is "@rt$!ne$$". Natasha looks embarressed, but nobody seems to care. "It's just that I'm an @rt$y person, you know? I don't hurt anybody with my @rt$!ne$$, in fact, I make the world a better place because of it! Right, guys?" Natasha blathers on to her teammates. Hayden snaps and shouts, "They didn't deny you because you're @rt$y, or whatever, they denied you because you never cease to SHUT YOUR MOUTH!" Natasha then does what Hayden claims to be impossible for her to do. When Ryan, Peter, and Joseph strap on the handcuffs, in that order, no one is able to guess a reason, of possibly many, their auditions were a flop. Ryan, probably because he's pretty normal, other than the fact that he's impossibly tall, and someone guessed that right off the bat. Peter, because even though he doesn't talk, it seems as though he doesn't think either, and nothing appears on the screen. Joseph, lastly, because he's probably almost as normal as Ryan, if a bit meaner. Next, Julian strap on the handcuffs, and looks completely terrified as Chris attaches the suction cups to his skull. Visibly shaking, and sweating too, it looks as though he's doing everything in his power to keep from anything showing up on the screen. Mikey questions why he looks so stressed, obviously not smart enough to determine he's concentrating on not letting something in particular appear on the screen. Chris, noticing this too but understanding the reason, speaks out, "Remember. There may be one of many reasons you guys weren't chosen for the show." Julian relaxes a bit, and a picture of a juvenile halll appears. Sahara guesses that Julian wasn't chosen for show because Duncan had already been, and the Whining Bass score a point. Julian breathes a sigh of relief as he rejoins his team, even if seeming suspicious still. The Gophers quickly determine that Andy wasn't chosen because he's completely terrified of anything remotely scary, as he freaked out the moment he saw the machine, and actually fainted while attatched to it. For Mikey, the Bass (more specifically Julian) guess the second he hooks up to the machine that it's because he's lacking in the smarts departament, and the Bass score yet another point, much to Mikey's rage. For Brianne, it's not secret she's a complete loser, and has seemingly no friends other than Chloe, but in any case the Gophers get that point. When it's Sahara's turn, no one can guess the reason, even though the first thing guessed was that she's a complete tree hugger (causing a frown to appear, and a picture of a rage meme face to appear on the screen) but apparently that's not a reason the producers didn't allow her on the show. Jill, because she's completely accident prone, quickly scores the Gophers another point because she hasn't even strapped into the machine when it literally explodes, if for no apparent reason. At this point, the two teams are tied, both at four points. Chris throws his hands up in the air, frusterated and flustered by all the chaos taking place. "Alright, alright, so now what are we supposed to do? With no machine?" Chris shouts at Jill, who looks at him embarresed, but he seems to calm down quickly. "Hayden and Eugene," he says smartly, "You two were the only ones to not have gone yet. Step forward, both of you." Hayden jumps forward briskly, ready for action. Eugene glumly walks forward, pocketing his electronic device. "This better be fast," he mumbles. "Well," Chris begins, "Since we were unable to find out the reasons you two were denied being on the show in the first place, I simply want you to insult the other. Person with the best insults wins it for their team. And guys, this is a competition. Don't get soft on me." Hayden immediatly bursts into a speech of how Eugene reeks of rotten eggs, spends all his time on some crummy little video game, how he won't amount to anything in life, and so on, as if she had been thinking of ways to insult him since she had arrived on the show. Eugene just sits there, taking it. "Come on, Eugene," Ryan shouts to his teammate, encouraging him, "Don't stay silent! Fight back!" Eugene thinks for a moment, and holds up his hand an inch from Hayden's face. This stops her from talking for just a second, but that is all the time he needs. "Why don't you just shut your face?" Eugene says to Hayden, getting angrier by the second, "Listen to me, girl. You're just some bratty, snot-nosed cheerleader wanna-be who thinks she's all popular, but in all reality, has a bunch of fake friends who would dump her in a ditch if it meant free stuff for them. Your own family has strewn you off long ago; they don't care about you. And I bet you don't care about them either, which is all fine and dandy until you really need them. Hayden, you're a selfish person, the opposite of what's good. You can't even see that many, actually good people here, seem to care for you," he glances at Julian for second as he says this, "and yet you gravitate to the stupidest, second most selfish person here other than you: Mikey. You know what? You two are the perfect pair. I hope you're happy together, although you'll probably never even get together as Mikey'll be gone in about another day, off to break some other selfish brat's heart. And you'll be left, crying on the floor, mopping it with your tears, until the next idiot comes along, and you being an idiot yourself, will fall for him. Get a life, Hayden. You may need it some time." There is complete silence for about a second, and then Hayden bursts into tears, running through the line of her teammates and in through the doors of the warehouse. Mikey shoots Eugene a look of pure rage, and then runs to find where Hayden has gone to. Eugene just stands there, as if nothing happened. Chris is astonished at Eugene's monologue, and awkwardly says, "Well, I guess if Hayden quits the tiebreaker, then the Sniffling Gophers win. Whining Bass, I'll meet you in the small terrace behind the warehouse for the elimination ceremony tonight. Well then..." Chris stops talking and walks off with Chef, who is equally as shocked. The rest of the Sniffling Gophers crowd around Eugene, cheering, but half-heartedly for the way they got their victory was certainly an odd one. Eugeneis seen in the confessional. "I didn't mean those things I said. Well... personally, I believe I was just stating the truth. Call me a bully if you want, but in my defense, I was just doing it for my team. I guess you could say... I'm just an observant person." He then proceeds to pull out his video game and play away. Hayden is the shown in the confessional, not crying, but her eyes very puffy and her makeup still smeared. "Mark my words," she says slowly, "Eugene is DEAD!" The scene then cuts to the Whining Bass, minus Hayden, Mikey, and Katniss (who walked off with her bow and arrow the minute the challenge ended), all sitting together in a circle outside the warehouse. The sky is sarting to get dark, informing the contestants they only have minutes until their first elimination. "So, who do you guys think should go home?" Julian asks the rest of them, leaning against a wall, knowing no one will respond. But someone does. Sahara blatently says, "I think Peter should," she pauses, seeing the look of hurt on Peter's face, and adds, "No offense, but you don't talk, dude. That's not good." Peter looks down at the ground. "Hey, lay off him. He looks smart, and I could take some @rt$y pictures of him. I mean, have you seen his eyes? A beautiful colour of grey, perfect against a subway stop! Or a woodern door frame!" Natasha exclaims, so proud of her own @rt$!ne$$. Sahara stands up suddenly, snapping the peacefulness of the evening in half. "Oh, will you just shut up with that "@rt$y" crap? Ever since you've gotten here, that's all you've talked about! Jeez, if I had the mind to, I report your mindless chatter to the authorities as some kind of noise pollution! Think of the children!" Sahara shouts, speaking her last line in a woeful voice. Natasha glares at her. "Well, at least I have a positive attitude! All Mikey and Hayden do is bring down this team. And so do you." "Well at least I'm not all FREAKING @RT$Y ABOUT IT!" "Girls, girls," Dilbert intervenes, "Calm yourshelves. Clearly, your differenches can be put aside. Let's all just-" "SHUT YOUR FACE!" Both girls shout a Dilbert with such intensity he has no choice but to do as they say. The two of them then proceed to glare at each other for just a moment, before a seagull falls out of the sky, dead, with an arrow through its chest. From far off, the group of teens hear Katniss call, "Sorry about that!" Sahara throws her hands up in the air and screams at the top of her lungs, "I'M SO DONE WITH THIS TEAM!" She then proceeds to walk away, back into the warehouse. Natasha soon follows, looking flushed with rage. The rest of the team just look at each other, and then decides to head to the terrace. The terrace, as it is called, turns out to be a small field of patchy grass and dirt, surrounded by a flimsy wooden fence. Ugly, grey buildings can clearly be seen just beyond it, but the contestants take no notice of it with more important matters on their minds. Chris turns on some patio lights against the wall, and then asks the teens to sit on some logs he brings over and arranges in a semi circle, with the help of Chef. When they do, he whips out a try of marshmallows. "In spirit of Total Drama." He says happily, looking down upon the Whining Bass. After all the contestants have one by one gone to the confessional to vote someone off, and sat back down again, Chris explains how the elimination will work. "I will throw you a marshmallow if you are safe," he says, "and the one of you who doesn't recieve one will immeditaly have to walk down the Path of Shame to board the Public Bus of Losers, and be gone forever." He points to a path leading out of the terrace and to a bus stop on the side of the street. "What if the bus doesn't come?" Mikey asks boredly. Chris shushes him, and begins the ceremony. "And the marshmallows go to... Katniss and Julian. Peter and Dilbert. Mikey............. and Hayden." Chris tosses the little white om-nom-nom-like things to the owners of the names he called. He looks down at Sahara and Natasha, both of whom look completely terrified. "Sahara, I don't really know why you're in the bottom two, but you don't really seem like someone I'd want to keep around either. Natasha, I just genuinely dislike you and all your "@rt$y" stuff. But I'm not the one who decided this vote: it was your teammates. And, in their words, the first person eliminated from Total Drama: The Rejected is... Natasha. Get your @rt$y butt on that bus this second." Natasha stares at Chris, shocked at her team's final word. Sahara lets out a sigh of relief, but doesn't rub her safety in Natasha's face. Chris points to the Path of Shame, and Natasha sadly gets up, and hiking her things onto her back, leaves the ring of contestants and begins to walk to the stop where the Bus of Shame is now waiting for her. Halfway, she turns back around, and calls out in a shaky voice, "You'll hear from me again. Not on T.V., but as a famous photographer. Everyone will know of my @rt$y photos! I am Natasha, master of the @rt$y arts!" At that, she whips around again, head held high, and runs to catch the bus, which is leaving without her. In a couple of seconds, she is gone. Chris shakes his head. "Well then," he remarks, "that girl sure has problems. But in any case," he turns to face the cameras head on, "That's our show for today folks! A lot of drama went down, that's for sure. Well, now that you've watched one episode, you better be back for the next one. You better. Got that? Got it?" "Chris, I think you're scaring the audience." Chef says from behind the camera. Chris shakes his head as if to clear his thoughts, and begins again. "Thanks for watching, and be sure to watch the next episode of Total Drama: The Rejected!" Chapter 3: Scared Boys Don't Cry Chris McLean greets the cameras happily from his bedroom in the warehouse. It's full of fancy, plush furniture, and many mirrors. At the moment, he leans against his pink vanity. "Welcome back to Total Drama: The Rejected," Chris says happily, "Last time, we had our first challenge, in which the reasons our current contestants failed for TD in the first place were revealed.